It's a frustrating thing, really. I'm not exactly sure how to put it into words, the feeling you get when you want to have your child. Specifically, to be able hold her and have her fall asleep on you. It's a bonding experience when it happens, and there is nothing quite like it. Unfortunately, unless your child is weened from the boobies, the experiences are few and far between and require assistance from Mrs. Port-a-boob (a.k.a. a bottle). Usually, if she is able to breastfeed long enough, the mother will become more of a pacifier rather than a source of nutrition. Then the bond has sealed itself into a nearly sacred state. It turns into the one place where the baby can feel safe and secure and know that the world won't get her. When this happens, the SAHD can start to feel useless.
Sure, he takes care of her in the daytime and keeps her entertained, but toys nowadays can do almost as good of a job as a Dad can (what with the whole tablet/iPad thingies). Of course, human interaction is preferable and most definitely irreplaceable. Plus, someone has to feed her. But that need goes away as she gets older and the inevitable independence begins the takeover. She starts knowing how to do things on her own, like pooping and eating and stuff. Then Dad is just there because someone HAS to be there. Babies really do grow up fast. Like, really fast.
The feeling of knowing that your baby trusts you and loves you enough to surrender to her tiredness without worry, that is important. Mommies get to have organic mechanisms built in to do that. But Daddies, we have to work for it, and it is not an easy job.
Stupid meaningless nipples.
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